4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships | Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings | TEDxSquareMile

TED Talks
2 min readJun 1, 2023

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Photo by Scott Broome on Unsplash

4 Habits of ALL Successful Relationships | Dr. Andrea & Jonathan Taylor-Cummings | TEDxSquareMile

  • Successful relationships require work and the development of four fundamental habits.
  • The four habits observed in all successful relationships are:
  1. Be curious, not critical: Invest time in understanding and appreciating differences.
  2. Be careful, not crushing: Develop conflict resolution skills and treat each other with care.
  3. Ask, don’t assume: Have courageous conversations and avoid assumptions and stereotyping.
  4. Connect before you correct: Communicate value and appreciation before giving feedback.
  • Failing relationships often lack one or more of these habits, leading to frustration and separation.
  • Relationship breakdown has significant consequences for mental health, with high rates of mental health problems among children of separated couples.
  • Investing in these habits can save lives and lead to thriving individuals, families, companies, and nations, making the world a better place.

Actionable Insights

  1. Be curious, not critical: Invest time in understanding and appreciating your partner’s differences. Play to each other’s strengths rather than criticizing them.
  2. Be careful, not crushing: Develop conflict resolution skills and treat each other with care during disagreements. Set ground rules and boundaries to avoid falling into destructive patterns.
  3. Ask, don’t assume: Have courageous conversations that promote trust and respect. Seek clarification and understanding rather than making assumptions or stereotyping.
  4. Connect before you correct: Prioritize meaningful communication that shows value and appreciation for your partner. Break the routine, engage in activities together, and maintain intimacy.

Key Takeaways

  1. Successful relationships require intentional effort and the development of key habits.
  2. Frustration and unmet expectations are common relationship hurdles, but can be overcome by being curious and understanding.
  3. Conflict resolution skills and care for each other are vital to navigate disagreements and prevent relationship breakdown.
  4. Building trust and respect through open communication and avoiding assumptions is crucial.
  5. Prioritizing connection, appreciation, and maintaining intimacy strengthens relationships and enhances overall satisfaction.

Learning Outcomes

  1. Understanding the four fundamental habits of successful relationships.
  2. Gaining actionable advice on how to develop and apply these habits in personal relationships.
  3. Recognizing the potential consequences of relationship breakdown on mental health and society.
  4. Realizing the importance of investing in relationships and the positive impact it can have on individuals, families, and society.

Conclusion

Developing the four habits of successful relationships — curiosity, care, communication, and connection — can significantly improve the chances of thriving relationships. By investing in these habits, we not only increase our own satisfaction but also contribute to the well-being of future generations. It is time to prioritize and intentionally nurture our relationships to create a better world for all.

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